Dawn of the Deadlifts: Meet Curt Brooks, The Early Bird Muscle Unicorn!
He’s up at 5 am, lifting heavy weights, and spreading more cheer than your morning coffee!
“LEADER of the month: Curt Brooks! Okay, folks, let’s talk about Curt – the human alarm clock who thinks deadlifting at the crack of dawn is a grand idea! Seriously, he’s like a fitness-loving vampire, except he doesn’t suck blood; he sucks down protein shakes!
Curt is so committed to his morning workouts that even if he stayed up late watching a Phillies game, he’ll drag himself to Plymouth Meeting at 5 am. Picture this: half-asleep Curt stumbles through the warm-up, trying to remember which leg goes where, but as soon as he tosses 225 pounds on the bar, it’s like he’s possessed by the spirit of a muscle-bound unicorn doing reps of muscle ups.
He’s our very own CrossFit guru, a Level-1 coach, and he’s been leading our 5 am class for 2.5 years! Curt not only lifts barbells but also spirits with his high-fives, energy, and enthusiasm, even when the sun is still snoring.
We all try to chase his epic leaderboard scores, but he’s too busy cheering us on until we complete our workouts. If you’re looking to rock that snazzy white leader jersey and snag a prime parking spot, remember, folks, be more like Curt! Just don’t forget to set your alarms for 4:30 am.
#Mainlinemonday
WEEKLY COMMITMENTS
• 1 Bench Press – Monday
• 1 Barbell Cycling – Friday
• 1 Heavy Day – Friday
• 2 Short Sprint – Mon. & Wed.
• 1 Long Day – Tuesday
• 1 Overhead Squat – Wednesday
• 1 Skill – Tuesday
#Tuesdaytreat
Get ready, folks! Our legendary deal is back, and yes, it’s that popular. Last time, we offered 50% off for six months, and it caused more chaos than a squirrel in a coffee shop. Our website did the limbo, and Coach April? Well, let’s just say she’s wearing a helmet this time. We’ve iced the servers and crossed our fingers. Brace yourselves!
#whatsnextwednesday
The competition is only days away – your last chance to gather your confidence, grab that friend by the weight belt, and sign up. The 2023 in-house competition, Civil War, has just unveiled its standards and division guide. Whether you’re a scaling expert or an Rx warrior, we’ve got a division tailored just for you. Rally a friend, and make your move by signing up at the Box to dive into the action.
#SpotlightThursday
CFML’s Retail Redemption: 11 New Pieces and Only 6 of Each—Challenge Accepted, Shoppers!
Alright, folks, we’ve got a retail confession to make. We’ve been trying to sell you stuff like your friendly neighborhood store, but it’s like you’re all allergic to buying retail! We’ve asked about your supplements, drinks, and fashion choices, but apparently, you’ve got a secret stash somewhere.
So, we’re taking this rejection personally and going big with a relaunch! Brace yourselves for not 2, not 5, but a whopping 11 pieces of fresh apparel! No pre-orders this time, and guess what? Only 6 pieces of each at every location. We’re not risking another ‘CFML-stuff-no-body-wants’ situation! Let’s see who can resist this retail charm. A few samples below. Relaunch date coming soon.
#fearlessfriday
Calorie torching workout of the week.
PLOT YOUR REBELLION AGAINST GRAVITY
Good positing on the deadlift will set you up for success on the front squat.
“Formula One”
EMOM 12
1 Deadlift
2 Power Cleans
3 Front Squat
* ↗ #, ea. rd.
Here’s the game plan: wrestle those weights into submission while your brain yells, ‘Hold on, you’ve got this!’ Keep those Front Squats as unbroken as a stubborn jar of pickles, and let’s see who triumphs in the epic saga of muscles vs. fatigue!”
#shoutoutsaturday
Smile-Eluding Fitness Guru…
Alright, folks, gather ’round and let me tell you about Coach Kyle – the man of mystery, the smiley enigma! Seriously, spotting his smile is like finding a unicorn riding a rainbow. Coach Chelsey swears she caught a glimpse of it once, but I’m not so sure.
Now, if we were ranking coaches, Coach Kyle would be our Michael Jordan – the top dog! This guy went from baseball coach to caddy and somehow ended up as a CrossFit guru. He’s so popular that if Coach Wendi weren’t around, he’d be the MVP.
But here’s the kicker: Kyle’s mission in life is to make sure you leave the workout feeling like a superhero. He’s so focused on your improvement that even Spotify thinks it’s nap time. I’m convinced he’s just too busy making fitness magic happen to remember to press play.
#selfcaresunday
Phew! We’re taking a break from the birthday burpee madness this week at CMFL. We’ve got a whopping 8 athletes blowing out candles, and their ages? Well, let’s just say we’ve got everything from the big 9 to the top-secret ‘?????’! Happy Birthday, party animals!
WHAT OUR COACHES ARE READING AND WATCHING
• WATCH: 45-year-old Colorado man breaks chin-up world record
• ARTICLE: F**k steps. Climb stairs! “Just 50 Steps Climbing Stairs A Day Can Cut Heart Disease Risk By 20%”
• Study: No need for carbs before a workout! -“Drinking high doses of sugars will simply spike blood glucose and will NOT be used to synthesize glycogen” (the fuel for muscle energy).